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Why All Teachers Should Learn Transactional Analysis

22/05/2011 By Ian Tomlinson

teachers should learn transactional analysisI am a lucky man because I work in two areas that I enjoy and find fascinating. These are the vocations of teaching and psychotherapy and I love it when they come together. This is lucky because they come together frequently. In fact they’re rarely apart. Teaching is about relationships. Psychotherapy is about relationships. They are made for each other.

There is an unfortunate trend in education over the last few years. We seem to have moved away from relationships and towards “measurable outcomes”. We can measure a child’s IQ, CAT score, SAT score, GCSE grade, AS level etc etc. but it’s pretty hard to put a number on how happy he or she is at school and whether he feels cared for, nurtured, respected, inspired or safe. My argument is that all of these things are essential before any learning can take place. Once they are secure then the child may fly. She can feel safe enough to have a go, make mistakes and learn that it’s OK. Then real learning begins.

Who inspired you?

Look back at the teachers you found inspiring at school. Were they the ones that marked your homework on time? Was it the way in which they set work for you that you remember? The thing that we remember about our special teachers is how they connected with us. How we felt when we were with them. I remember clearly how I felt with my English teacher when I was I kid. I felt valued, inspired and special and I loved going to English lessons. For most homework assignments I would do the minimum just to make sure I didn’t get into trouble (typical boy). For my English teacher I would write reams!

So what’s all this got to do with Transactional Analysis? In order for a child to learn anything within the classroom setting you need a good teacher to facilitate the process. Teaching is a demanding, stressful and high pressured vocation where the humanness of the teacher is often forgotten by all parties. This is regularly demonstrated by excited children running up to teachers during the school day to tell them “I saw you in Tescos”! Yep, teachers have to eat too! As teachers we often forget that we are human too and we are not our jobs. We take poor behaviour in our classrooms personally, feel stressed when we are being observed (mention Ofsted to a teacher and they tend to react as if they are to be visited by the grim reaper to have their very soul brought to judgment) and find it difficult to unwind in the long holidays we are endlessly lambasted for.

How can Transactional Analysis help teachers?

Transactional Analysis offers teachers a way of understanding what is happening on a social level within the classroom and within themselves. It provides a map, a framework to start hanging experiences on.

Here’s a list of a few features of transactional analysis and how they can be used by teachers;

  • Ego states – once understood, teachers can figure out what’s going on with their thinking, feeling and behaviour in the classroom and choose to respond rather than react.
  • Transactional Analysis Proper – teachers can use their knowledge of TA proper to keep irate children (and parents!) placated, cut dead unproductive conversations and make their points seem clear during lessons.
  • Strokes – the understanding of the stroke economy makes the poor behaviour of some children more comprehendible and encourages teachers to be positive in their classrooms as a method of behaviour management. I’ve done a lot of work with students explicitly discussing strokes and the stroke economy, they find it fascinating too!
  • Games – there are many games played out in the classroom including “Do Me Something”, Wooden Leg”, “If It Wasn’t For You” and “Now I’ve Got You, You S.O.B”. If teachers understand them they can avoid them or at least be aware when they enter into them and avoid the negative payoff for themselves (for example, that common feeling of hopelessness that teachers can feel, or feelings of anger) and for the students.
  • Scripts – understanding our own script helps us language why we wanted to be a teacher in the first place and gives us permission to pursue our vocation from a positive place.

My examples above barely scrape the surface of the uses of TA within teaching and there are many more aspects of TA such as the drama triangle, the OK corral, script matrix, discounting that are also very useful.

By learning Transactional Analysis a teacher can gain more insight to how human relationships tick. They can make more sense of the behaviour they see around them and put it into a wider context. Transactional Analysis provides a language to explain why certain classroom management techniques are going to be more effective than others and gives permission for the teacher to retain humanness in the face of adversity.

Transactional Analysis brings greater awareness into the classroom and with this comes options and the possibility of doing things differently.

Filed Under: Transactional Analysis Tagged With: change, interpersonal relationships, stress, stroke, transactional analysis

Work Place Stress And The Difference Between Men And Women

14/05/2011 By Ian Tomlinson

work place stressStressed at work?

A report by Chartered Counselling Psychologist, Dr Kevin Wright which was presented at the 17th Annual BACP Research Conference in Liverpool, on 6-7 May 2011 has suggested that men and women react to work place stress in different ways. This does not surprise me at all. It’s interesting to me how men and women differ in their approach to life and their response to therapy.

Wright has found that men have more stress than women and deal with it very differently. Men tend to take less days off but turn up to work when they are not well enough to do their jobs and put in a poor effort as a result.

How does the report say men and women cope with stress? Again, no big surpises. Men tend to either go seek help and deal with it (by finding a counsellor for example) or do nothing at all and attempt to deal with their negative feelings by drinking and crossing their fingers that things will get better. Women are more likely to deal with the stress by shouting at their partner or work colleagues or by becoming depressed. Women are better at getting help from friends and family than men, who tend not to talk to people close to them.

So what can we learn from this report? Well, many of the findings are not surprising. That women are less stressed than men may also be linked to the finding that part time staff are less stressed than full time staff and more women are part time. There must be a link between women sharing their problems with their friends and family and men bottling it all up.
Here are some suggestions for both sexes that I am making from information in the report and from my experience as a therapist:

Men:

  • Feel your feelings. Allow yourself to get in touch with your feelings and express them.
  • Talk to your nearest and dearest about how you feel.
  • Take time off work if you need it – no point in “being strong” and paying the price later by having a breakdown or being off for long periods of time. Take a day off, look after yourself and go back to work when you feel able to be productive.
  • If you feel yourself struggling, get help. The answer will not be found in the bottom of a pint glass. Counsellors and therapists are trained to help you so use them just as you would a doctor if you had broken your leg.

 

Women:

  • Explain to your partner what you are feeling and talk things through rather than shouting.
  • Seek professional help. Friends are a great source of support and if you need further help don’t feel bad about getting support from a therapist or counsellor. Counsellors are trained to help and take a very different approach to friends. You may find this alternative source of support very useful.
  • Look after your man – he is likely to suffer from stress more severely than you!

These are just a few suggestions and I am very interested in hearing what you have to say about how you deal with stress and your experiences with stress. Just write your ideas in the box below.

To read the full article check out: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/224521.php

Image: koratmember / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Individual Counselling Tagged With: emotions, stress, work place stress

Keep Calm And Carry On

23/04/2011 By Ian Tomlinson

keep calm and carry onI was seriously tempted not to write a post today. It would be the first time for a year that I would have missed publishing a post at the weekend. I thought about ditching the post because I have a tonne of other stuff to do and many other stresses to contend with. I thought “who would actually notice if I just skipped one week?” The answer I came back with was – ME. I would notice! I have set myself a challenge to write one post a week and I am determined to keep it up, so read on for a bit of an explanation!

There are various work related stresses that have arisen over the past couple of weeks. I guess as I have become more successful then there have been more demands on my time and an increase in tasks that are difficult to put off or avoid completely. Coupled with that, a serious family illness in my family has really knocked me for six and left me confused and scared about the future. I am now slowly getting my head around this. So I thought it was about time I took some of my own advice. What would I say to a client who was in my situation? Probably the following;

  • Feel your feelings, do not bottle them up. Cry if you want to cry and feel the sadness, it’s healthy.
  • Talk about things to your loved ones and your friends. A problem shared is a problem halved.
  • Go easy on yourself. Give yourself time to indulge and look after that Child that is within us all.
  • Realise that feelings take time to work themselves through. There are no quick fixes.
  • Get out and do things when you feel you are really struggling.
  • Exercise is a great way to pick yourself up. The natural endorphins help improve mood.

Ok, I admit that I haven’t done the exercise thing, but the rest of the list has been followed and I feel that I can manage and I will be OK.

The situation did get me thinking about how we British deal with stress and anxiety. That message “keep calm and carry on”, the stiff upper lip, is embedded into our culture and does serve a purpose at times. It has allowed me to get on with working and do what I have to do despite my sad feelings. I also believe, however, that it needs to be balanced with permission to feel our feelings when the space and time is right. This may be at home or in the company of supportive friends or your counsellor.

As for the anxious feelings, well I was very impressed with Russell Brand’s response when Piers Morgan asked him whether he will make mistakes in the future (as he seems to have the ability to do in his own inimitable way). Brand’s reply was “I don’t have to worry about that right now, all I have to deal with is you sitting in front of me”.

“The past is history, the future a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called “the present”” (Kung Fu Panda)

Image: Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Discussion Tagged With: anxiety, emotions, sadness

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